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Headless body in topless bar
By Herbo Gooli The Jeddak’s Guard on Friday entered a strip joint in Lesser Helium and discovered a naked headless body on the stage. “It wasn’t part of the act,” said Kantos Kan, who led the raid. Owner Rapas the Ulsio, of Zodanga, said he had no idea who the body belonged to. “We get this a lot,”... »
Kaldane charged with disorderly conduct
Ghek the kaldane has been charged with disorderly conduct again. According to reports from the Jeddak’s Guard, Ghek snuck into the palace of Kantos Kan and exchanged places with the roast thoat dinner that was to be served last night. Kantos Kan himself removed the lid from the tray, and promptly fainted when the kaldane announced:... »
Sex romp in flier trips tawdry Tara
By Toolio Tabnuts HELIUM — The Empire has been rocked by allegations that Princess Tara cavorted naked in a one-man flier with a palace janitor from Jasoom. War is imminent, of course. The shocking revelation came during the trial of Earthman Elmo Lincoln, who is accused of stealing panties from the female slave quarters in the Warlord’s... »