Archive for March, 2012

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The green horde of Warhoon, host of the next ‘Hunger Games,’ announced on Friday that all the competitors will be baby Tharks. Tars Tarkas, jeddak of Thark, denounced the move as “typical” of the hereditary enemy of his people. “Our hatchlings will swarm into the stands of their arena and crush Warhoon,” Tars Tarkas said. “I... »

Ras Thavas, the Mastermind of Barsoom, has told his assistants to fetch him the brain of a Jasoomian movie critic. “They are the most curious brains in the galaxy,” Ras Thavas said, according to sources in his laboratory. “Many of them seem to dislike the recently released documentary called ‘John Carter.’” Ras Thavas has reportedly seen... »

Jasoom has released its long-awaited biopic on the life of John Carter. They made up lots of stuff. But it’s an entertaining look at our planet. ohn Carter, meanwhile, told entertainment reporters: “I did not have a wife on Earth.” The denial came amid persistent questioning about the reaction of princess Dejah Thoris to a revelation... »